Must A Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?